Behind Those Glass Eyes
by SilverSterlingRose
Summary: All Drocell Keinz ever longed for since he became a puppet, was to feel once more...


**This is a one-shot about Drocell! I think he should have appeared more in Kuroshitsuji so here is a little tribute to him. There is so much more to this character then what you would think. This is how I view Drocell Keinz... Please enjoy!**

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><p>Drocell Keinz was wandering the empty rooms of the large, dark tower. Each step he took, a creaking wooden sound followed. His joints began to crack, informing him he needed to rest. He leaned up against the cold, stone wall and slid down to the floor. Tilting his head back so it was leaning against a wall, his neck creaked.<p>

"Drocell hates Drocell," he mumbled to himself. Bringing his hands into view, he examined the cracks and creases of the wood he was made of, "Drocell was once human, a human that could feel. Now, Drocell cannot feel anything," His glass eyes held no emotion, although something deep within him hurt, probably the termites.

Suddenly, Drocell remembered the screaming of those girls he turned into puppets. Their cries of terror sounded like sweet bells to him. He was envious of them. The way they could feel happiness, sadness, pain, terror, humiliation... It had been such a long time such Drocell experienced any of these feelings. Actually, it had been a long time since he felt anything. Not only physically, but emotionally as well...

He tried to remember what it was like to cry, or to feel happy. Drocell realized he missed pain most of all. He wished he could feel pain yet again because if he could feel pain, maybe, it meant he wasn't as monstrous as he felt.

"Drocell is a puppet, made of cheap wood, wood that will soon rot away if not taken over by the bugs. Will Drocell feel pain then?" he pondered with this thought a bit. Not thinking anything of it, he used his left hand to grasp one of his right fingers. As if he was snapping a twig, Drocell ripped his own finger right off his hand. He cried out in horror and then stared at his hand in shock.

"Pain?" a small smile crept towards Drocells eyes. He grabbed another finger and did the same deed as before, and again he cried out in pain. Those glass purple eyes widened and Drocell began to laugh out in joy.

"I-I can feel the pain…" that something deep within him began to grow and Drocell felt as if he needed to feel something, anything. He now grabbed his arm and with one strong tug, began to tear himself apart…

His right arm, his left leg, his right leg, he was destroying himself all with the need to feel something. Slowly, he lifted his left hand to his face and cupped his left cheek. In one quick motion, he tore it off… Yet he continued to smile, why?

"All this time and Drocell did not know he could feel anymore. Drocell missed the feeling of the wind rushing through his hair, or the grass below his feet. But this, pain, is what he missed the most… it feels… good. It is a feeling, something Drocell can sense… that is all Drocell… no, I wished for,". Behind those emotionless glass eyes was a being, longing for emotion. Drocells soul was tearing him up from the inside out, trying to feel once more. He felt the need to let out these feelings yet he did not know how. When he was human, and he was upset, he would do something to let those jumbled emotions pour out of him and he would feel somewhat better.

Now, he could no longer do whatever this was. The pain and sadness swelled up inside him threatening to explode from deep inside of Drocell. These emotions built up until they were on the verge of tearing his own soul apart, shredding it up as scissors would paper. His soul was so weak, yet trapped inside this wooden body of his, built for a purpose he did not know. It seemed as though he would be in this unbearable pain forever.

Drocell saw something roll off his face and drip onto his torso. He lifted his hand yet again to his face, but still could not feel anything. He rubbed his face and then looked at his hand, it was something wet. Whatever was coming out of his eyes, continued. He tried to remember what these were called when yet another feeling came to him.

"Sadness, why am I sad? I got what I wished for… didn't I?" he realized that these things, tears, were tears of joy. They continued to roll off what remained of his face and he honestly did not want them to stop. As if the world was made to disappoint him, the bugs came.

They began eating what remained of Drocell and he cried harder. The feeling of sadness was so strong that he couldn't handle it. He lied there, dying in pain and sadness, but he was happy that he was dying this way. Because, this way, he had gotten the one wish he had had for so long… To feel yet again…


End file.
